When will i ever find myself good MAN to take care of me..?
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I want to be in the country side, beach, or anywhere that will make me feel better than I do now. I want a single orange/red light to shine down on me and only the moon to be my guidance. I want music that is sad. I want myself time. I want the wind to be just perfect, and the sound of something to soften my emotions down.
At this moment, I just want something that can calm me. Something that looks beautiful. A getaway to somewhere, I’m still wanting. Sleep shall help for now. Not feeling myself these days. I need a break from everyone and everything.
so i basically have two moods either let’s do something spontaneous and awesome or let’s just lay in bed all day and forget the world exists
via KushandWizdom (via kushandwizdom)
thoughts….
So the past few days I’ve been home and thinking about a whole bunch of things. Sad things, happy things, annoying things, & all the above. It’s pretty crazy how my bad bipolar self is resurfacing and my bitch switch turns on by the smallest tiniest things ever now. I guess alone time does make you go crazy.
I’ve also been missing a person I’ve stopped talking to recently. Weird -.-
But back to the subject…… haha. I really wish summer was longer. I hate school, even though it’s the only thing that’s gonna take me anywhere in this cold world. lolol. I want to see my girls soon though! I felt like this has been the longest we’ve been apart. WAAHHHHH :’( I need sometime out of this house, sooner not later….
borinnnnnggggggggg.
I hate the fact that I’m bored 25/7. What a life now >:/ School hurry up and come. I’m pretty excited for my Junior year. Going to make it a good one.
bi polar.
As I am, I’m pretty okay now. Hahaha. That other blog was me venting about my sadness and depression.
I decided to text that one person that always makes me happy, and it worked. The first reply made my heart jitter with butterflies and made me forget the sorrow I was going through. Goodness, the only people that can make me happy is my baby sisters and my girls, but ‘him’ - there was an exception. I just wish friendship & distance wasn’t apart of this. Life is just fullll of obstacles. BUT, I know I will certainly get through them just like everybody has. Lessons don’t get taught and learned on the first day, it takes time and understanding to get a certain concept. With this one, I will let time reel me in and I shall choose the right step into every choice I desire.
It’s funny.
How some of the most cute/pretty girls have the most nasty/ugly personalities.
I just wanna hang out with some pretty girls who have old souls like me but can get ratchet from time to time and throw that ass.
Any one?
Where ya at
Found out today that I am being sent to Cambridge :’( How sad! I am pretty scared of that school, I’m not gonna lie. I mean the people there & I have alot in common but man! That’s the 2nd ghetto school in the FUSD. Except, Roosevelt cause is the first. But these are the consequences I get for messing up my Freshman year and half of my sophomore. One semester there and Saturday Night Classes to get alll caught up with credits. *SIGHS………… FML.
friends aren’t forever.
I’m pretty bummed out. My closes friend and I aren’t really getting along anymore. It makes me angry and sad at the same time. I mean when you grow with someone, share secrets with someone, and is with someone for so long, it hurts to see the way you guys are after such a long time. I know they say people come and people go. I understand that perfectly. The process is just so painful. I mean, I really don’t cry over loosing friends, but I may cry because we have grown apart in such a bad way. It’s aggravating to see when she starts hanging out with different people she changes. I understand, I mean you don’t have to hanging out with me 24/7. But, to be changing attitudes towards me makes me mad as fuck.
This isn’t the first time. Every time you have new friends you ditch me and expect me to have open arms for you after they are through with you. This time I won’t. I’m probably one of you’re realest friends too. I help you out in every situation and then BAM when it comes down to me, NOTHING. Maybe we have grown apart and grown from eachother. I’m pretty selfish, but the worst thing about me is, with friends I give to much. & I always end up getting hurt and stabbed in the back.
This isn’t a phase anymore. It’s just happening. And in my eyes, it hurts. Someone I’ve been so close to for such a long time just walks out. It’s life and I’m gonna go through it no matter what. Just on my terms. Heart aching as it gets, you loose some you gain some. Friends, pft. How many of you are going to walk out? If you are, please do it now. Geez. How hard is this process going to hit me? Very hard.
=’( Going to cry now. Sucks, but I’ll deal with it.